The boy wonder comes forth

The boy was born early on September 16th 2011. Time of birth about  9.06 am.
Labour took all day and night of the 15th. Punchi's waters broke at 2.30 am on the 15th. That night we had gone out for our 'last' night of freedom at the cinema to see 'The Zookeeper!' Punchi was going to be induced at 6am on Friday. The 15th had been her due date all along.

Anyway, from the moment Punchi announced  her waters had broken, I was wide awake. This was it. All that preparation, anti natal classes, books and fretting! Now was the moment of revelation. (In truth, it was many hours away!) My legs felt hollow and my heart was pounding in my chest.
Incredibly, despite our eccentric Prof telling us to go to hospital as soon as the waters broke, we went back to bed. I felt sure it was the wrong decision, but Punchi and her Ammi overruled me as no contractions had begun.

We both had a fitful sleep until about 8.30AM. then finally we got up and phoned the hospital. Why haven't you come in already (with an implied 'you drongo's'!), said the midwife.
So we rushed in a little panicked. I felt like a bonehead. Always be true to your inner convictions! We waited anxiously in ED to be monitored. After what seemed like an hour we were seen and heard the reassuring rhythmic beep of the babba's heart.

This was our first of about 12 hours in a small bright uninspiring maternity ED room! One of the chairs had been so worn in by oversized husbands/partners, that your ass sank into a depression in the chair.
Given the low amniotic fluid issues we had encountered, there was no chance of being sent home. But bub was only going to come when he was ready. Now was not the time. We were sent for a walk and we had a little lunch and wandered around the Mercy-Austin Hospital. There was little sign of the pain and discomfort to come! It was like we were visiting and bringing grapes to a loved one.

By about 4pm, the contractions started to come in waves. Still irregular but more painful. Gradually the pain increased so that poor Punchi was at times doubled over in pain. I can remember one time she paused in the hospital corridor clinging onto the wall, bent with pain, as the contraction washed over her. I  watched the pity and wonder on the faces of those who passed by. Punchi of course was more worried about what they were thinking than her own discomfort.

Back in ED we strapped the TENS machine electrodes to Punchi's back and hoped for the best! Punchi squeezed the trigger and felt a surge of electrical induced tinging to her spine. Unfortunately it only had a minimal effect in negating the contraction pain. Each time a contraction started Punchi would jump up brace the handrails of the bed and ride out the storm. Ammi and I would be there trying to comfort her and apply acupressure! God knows if it helped or not, but anything to try to reduce her burden.

After a few hours of this carry-on she was ready for an epidural. The trouble was we were still in ED. All the birthing suites were in use and half a dozen bub's had to have c-sections. Typical I thought. Just our luck. I felt   anxious at the thought that she would have to bear this agony all night.

Ammi diligently wrote each contraction times on the front page of The Age. I had bought it that morning feeling sure that today was the day for his birth and that the newspaper would be a nice keepsake. Of course I was out a day but we still kept it as a memento of the joy (and trauma) of child birth.

Finally at about 10 we were in a birthing suite and able to have a shower. The pressure of the water seemed to help with the contractions which were becoming regular. We met our midwife Christina who said she expected the bub to be out before she returned in the morning at 7. At that time, it seemed impossible to me that he wouldn't be out by then.

The night midwife Shirley took over, and was soon demonstrating her 'healing touch' powers on Punchi. I thought her magic might work for a time, in conjunction with the gas which Punchi was now heavily puffing away on. She offered me a toke but I figured I needed to keep my wits about me (In hindsight I should have pufffed away too). Within 45 mins of getting into the suite, the Irish anesthetist had been brilliantly arranged by Shirley and the epidural administered. Sweet relief was on its way. There's nothing worse than feeling helpless whilst your wife is in great distress. The Prof had also told us to get an epi as the best thing for Mum and Bub. He had also forecast that the TENS was useless - as was hippy touchy feeling crap (yoga!).

The epi had a nice relaxing effect. Punchi also continued to toke on the gas throughout, so that she dissolved into fits of giggles when the anesthetist tried to communicate with her. (Hilarious moment - memorable). I had a brief chat to him. He was off to Auckland in the morning to watch the Irish take on Australia that weekend (Ireland famously won).

They administered syntocinon to induce labour and speed up the contractions. I relaxed. Punchi was pain free. Shirley told us about her 27 years as a midwife in Wellington. (She told us more than once, she was quite adept at talking.) She was also quite taken with Ammi.
How old are you she asked showing the tact of a Sri Lankan Aunty!
70 Ammi replied after a moment's hesitation, showing admirable honesty.
Shirely was taken aback! 70? No? No? 50 surely? You so young!

It was clear that it was going to be a very LONG night. So Ammi and I settled into the long watch. I found a bean bag and selfishly claimed it as my own to sleep on! Punchi soldiered on (pain free! as Shirely kept saying.) There was one bout of intense pain as the epi had been turned off to stop it rising too high.
I didn't realise there was risk of the epi stopping you from breathing if it was allowed to go too high on your body. Glad I didn't know knw! That was why Shirley kept checking the level of the epi. Can you feel that?" This? And this? as she tested with a cold pack

Soon we had a bit of a crisis as the bub's heart rate dropped. Shirley was there quickly identifying the problem and raising the alar, She turned off the syntocinon, which had started to cause long contractions which she believed was exhausting bub.
In the nightmare of that moment, I was wide awake again. For the rest of the night I slept with one eye on the baby's heart monitor as the red numbers did their dance. 130, 132, 134, etc etc. All the time I was praying that it wouldn't dip again, dreading any drop in the display that might herald some awful catastrophe.

On another occasion the baby's heart rate dipped dramatically and again I was wide awake, my own heart unhappily hammering away. But each time Shirley was there to raise the alarm and take the vital steps to keep bub going through the long slog.

Ammi sat next to her daughter and didn't take her eyes off her. I don't think she slept for about 36hrs that day/night. She was a rock.

The Doctor came to check on bub and see how we was faring and perform an internal exam. Punchi was still only half way dilated at about 3.30. Three more hours and we would have another check.
He attached a heart monitor to his wee head for a better reading of chubba's heart. That seemed to help as he didn't dip again the rest of the night.
The clock seemed to be going backwards. Somehow we got through the night on cups of tea and our anxieties faded a little as bub continued very slowly on his journey into the world. I slept a little on my bean bag once things seemed to be progressing.

Suddenly it was 7 and Shirley disappeared to be replaced by Midwife Christine
and Lainie (a widwife trainee). There was no letdown in midwifery excellence.
The pushing was scheduled for 8am!

I went out for a cup of coffee and a bite to eat which turned out to be a
hideous looking (and even worse tasting) eggs benedict muffin!
Top fish n chips at the canteen though!
Anyway I sat there in the empty canteen contemplating the arrival of the boy!
Wondering what he would look like!
Awesome!

At about 8.20 ish, Punchi began the pushing. (Her socks were unceremoniously
removed first! Aww)
The midwifes were incredibly positive and encouraging.
Punchi turned out to be the world's best pusher. I worked in a joke about how she is pushy in life! They were very kind saying they hadn't heard that one before.

After heaps of praise and much pushing later, the boy's wee head appeared. He had hair.
Cute. Punchi was shown via a mirror. Must have been quite a sight from her vantage point.
Remarkably I did not faint at the blood and gore!

Then 9.06 chubba was suddenly pushed out into the world in a blur of blood and rubbery tentacles!
The boy wonder had arrived. The tears flowed!
A truly wondrous moment.

It was a surreal moment as he became well...real! We could see him and touch him, after all the trouble
he'd caused (anxiety!) over the last 40 weeks.
And he was cute. The midwifes seemed quite taken with the boy.(I'm sure they are with all bub's).
But it was another genuine moment from them.

Punchi had some skin on skin contact. I cut the rubbery cord with scissors, spraying some blood
across the bed and the wall - as the midwife's ducked.
Chubba was quite awake. He didn't make too much of fuss. He had the Hunter worrying frown.
We heated him up and Lainie showed me how to fit a nappy. Punchi threw up a couple of times
to complete the cycle. He started life causing vomitting just as he did in the first trimester.

Ammi sang to chubba, and then I sang a football song.
Que sera sera whatever will be will be...we're going to wembley...que sera sera!
Admittedly the only difference to the orignal Doris Day classic is Wembley!

Punchi fell into a deep sleep for about an hour. Chubba stayed awake the whole time, looking curiosuly
at the world.

I was reminded of the story Mum told about when I was born. My dad had said 'I wonder what he'll be when he grows up?' (Still don't know by the way!)

Mum replied - what does it matter as long as he is happy? (That turns out to be a blessing and a curse. I am very happy go lucky except when faced with corporate grind which I generally always seek an escape from!)

Anyway, Dad said what if he ends up a binman?! (that was an ironic statement as Dad eventually drove
bin wagons's for a living later on in life. He could never be away from his beloved Salford so
used his heavy good's licence in that field. He always used to find retro stuff though!)

What will the boy be? Well hopefully smart like his momma! And a little happy go lucky like his Pappa.
But hopefully with Mum's drive and a much less of Dad's loafing ability (Just enough to not take the world
too seriously though!)

And the name? Well he was of the night so we plumped for Delan. (Del)
He's perfect!

Historic last few days!

April 28th! A Thursday afternoon. 1.30PM Mercy hospital, Heidelberg

Punchi and I had lunch at the Burgundy cafe. They make superb Eggs Benedict with toasted ham! Nice.
This was before our our 20 week scan, which we were both quite nervous about. It was the sex scan.
The Australian lady operator was very sweet, friendly and efficient - as she navigated that odd sensor wand  around Punchi's jelly coated belly! Luckily  I wasn't overcome by an ill-timed fainting fit!
It seemed to take at least 30 minutes as she carefully checked all the fingers, toes, eyes, heart, everything! No problems which was obviously great news. There was one bit where the babba ("chubba") even blew a kiss at the camera apparently. We have a grainy picture which prove's it!

We excitedly awaited the news. Girl or boy?!
My instincts at the time were that it was a boy! Punchi's always had a gut feeling it was a boy!
I was thinking that I was first in our family, and Punchi's brother was first in their family.
Our genes were pointing that way!

Alrighty, the lady finally said. We can see here between the legs, a willy and 2 testies!
A boy!
Punchi was choked up with emotion, I was just stunned. But also elated. Happy! I had a grin on my face all afternoon. Although I would have been happy either way.
Amazing news. Now we have a sex. It still seems a bit unreal. Mum and Dad would have been thrilled.
Wish they were here to see him. Dad would have been chuffed it was a boy. I wonder if I will take the boy on a Coast to Coast walk like I did with my Dad. Mum would have been happy either way.

Hopefully he will grow up to like sci-fi and history like his old man! And maybe he will be a Mod! Certainly my thinning crown prevents my mod aspirations. I hope the balding gene skips the lad! Certainly both his grandparents had thick hair into their Fifties.

Names are a bit tricky now. If chubba had been a girl, I was hoping to honour both grandparents and especially my lovely Ma by calling her Devicka (Dee). But now its a boy we have to get our thinking caps on. I emailed Grandma and Gramps to see if they had any names. Certainly in honour of the old fella, William will have to feature. I quite like Will actually.

Friday April 29th.
Speaking of auspicious times, the Royal Wedding took place today in London.
Prince William and Kate Middleton were married at Westminister Abey. Incredibly, given Britain is in a recession and its thirty years since Diana married Charles to huge crowds, I had expected
a much more modest affair. I was wrong. Huge crowds, which really underlined how popular William is.
He does seem quite a down to earth Prince and has a natural easy going manner with his 'subjects'.
I dislike all the gushing of the commentators and bowing and scraping! Viva la Replublica! The people love all this pomp and circumstance however. We are living in such tacky celebrity obsessed times, that in a way it was welcome. Refreshing almost. Someone wrote that after 10 years of Big Brother, the popularity of the Royals can be easily explained. I wonder what world chubba will grow up in?
Surely there will be a Republic in New Zealand and Australia by the time he is in his teens? Or will King Will save the monarchy. The problem in this hemisphere will be, what replaces the Royals as Head of State?
Clearly another corrupt, self serving politician as President, is hardly much of a replacement.

May 1 10.30 PM US time. (May 2nd, in Australia)
Another auspicious day.
President Obama announced to the world that Osama Bin Laden had been located and killed in a firefight with US Special Forces, in a place called Abbottabad, Pakistan.
Incredible scenes at Ground Zero and in Times Square, as well as outside the Whitehouse. Lots of young faces in the jubilant crowds, and much chanting of USA, USA, USA!
Obama said justice had been done. Julia Gillard (red haired First woman Australian PM) said we would all remember where we were when we heard the news. Punchi had just logged onto MSN.co.nz when she saw the headline. So we were in the kitchen, cooking up popcorn and chubba - well you were probably enjoying seconds on the popcorn.
Point of note on Abbottabad. It is one of the few remaining places in Pakistan with an English name. It was named after Major James Abbott who founded the town in 1853! The Major wrote a poem about his fondness for the place. It looks like an affluent place! Questions asked about Bin Laden's hiding place, right under the noses of Pakistani intelligence. The Americans went in without even asking for permission.

Hopefully the world is a better place now for you chubba.

Poem of Abbottabad, written by the Major.

I remember the day when I first came here
And smelt the sweet Abbottabad air

The trees and ground covered with snow
Gave us indeed a brilliant show

To me the place seemed like a dream
And far ran a lonesome stream

The wind hissed as if welcoming us
The pine swayed creating a lot of fuss

And the tiny cuckoo sang it away
A song very melodious and gay

I adored the place from the first sight
And was happy that my coming here was right

And eight good years here passed very soon
And we leave our perhaps on a sunny noon

Oh Abbottabad we are leaving you now
To your natural beauty do I bow

Perhaps your winds sound will never reach my ear
My gift for you is a few sad tears

I bid you farewell with a heavy heart
Never from my mind will your memories thwart

Punchi's belly getting bigger!

She has been starting to show over the last few weeks and has a nice cute little bump bless her.
She is still worried about putting weight on. But eating regularly helps her not to feel nausea! Or at least that's her excuse!

We have the "sex" scan in a week and a half. This is a huge dilemma. Shall we find out the sex? I am too intrigued not to find out. I've asked friends and there are generally two schools of thought.
There seem to be practical people that want to know in order to buy or scrounge the right clothes.
Then there are romantics or 'retro' parents who want it to be a surprise at delivery.

I think we will find out as to do so will be thrilling. But perhaps we will keep it to ourselves until
delivery! Even to the olds!

The first scan a month ago was quite an emotional experience, even though I nearly passed out in that room
and had to sit on the floor for a bit! This is nothing new for me! I was fine until they started discussing internal stuff and that was it for me! Luckily I didn't faint! How the heck am I not going to faint at the birth?!
Anyway that first scan was a joy. what was the little one doing in there? Mainly somersaulting around!
The scans are now proudly on the fridge door.

We are also massively anxious this week about the babba! We have had no 'butterfly' flutters as yet!
Is Punchi's belly still growing?! So much anxiety for your first pregnancy is normal I guess.

Punchi and I seem to be getting closer as the weeks go by. Maybe because we are a bit isolated in Melbourne? But its a nice feeling knowing that our love is still growing as her belly is also growing!

Punchi is so emotional at the moment. She will weep at anything even remotely tear jerking. That's pregnancy hormones for you! A TV show that documented a blind woman from the Himalayas getting her sight back. The romantic gestures of a farmer in the 'Farmer Need's A Wife' reality television show!
Puppy having to wear the cone of shame to heal her eye!
Aaron Neville and Linda Rondstadt. I don't know much!

Punchi looking in a mirror March 20th 2am

After a rare night out, Punchi was looking at herself in the mirror, complaining about being fat!
She is not fat at all. She is as beautiful as ever - just a bit more shapely!
She doesn't have much of a bump yet, as she comes to the end of her first trimester. She does have bigger fuller breasts however. Bonus!

What a first trimester! Nausea and vomming round the clock!
I have never seen anyone vom like Punchi. With her groans of discomfort and pained expression, it gives you a horrible gut wrenching feeling of despair!
If its going to be like this for 9 months how do you cope?!
Well one thing to note is that apparently morning sickness (which strikes all day and should be renamed as morning, noon and night sickness), seems to be a good thing for the safety of the babba - so you can relax a little as a potential parent.

Anyway, luckily it did start to get easier after the first month or so.
Punchi became worryingly gaunt as she felt too sick to eat! But then she improved. She started to find
foods she could snack on. Snack foods are the key. After a  brief flirtation with Ginger biscuits and ginger beer, she has now settled on  mango juice, cheese and crackers, Cheds and rice (with crumbed fish, or lentil burgers)! Tea is out. For a Sri Lankan, giving up her tea would have been impossible before pregnancy. She hasn’t had tea in months! Rooibos tea isn't a bad replacment.

Now then how did it come to this? Well, Punchi and I were married in Feb 2010 in Sri Lanka.
Pregnancy did not follow immediately. That is quite normal. It can take many months of ‘trying’ before it happens. In fact, with us, just as we had all but given up, it happpened! This was on holiday in he UK sometime over Xmas 2010. So for those of you still trying, I recommend going on holiday and de-stressing. Let the noise of your life fade away for a while. The babba won’t come if there is any stress! For us we were stressing about leaving NZ and moving to Australia or staying put!

We went to see a natural fertility expert. This involved a chat with a natural fertility expert, called Rebecca. She was a lovely young Kiwi, with an eccentric elegant style! But friendly and down to earth as Kiwi’s generally are.

After going through the reproductive organs she touched on some dietary changes.

Here are the dietary changes I made which apparently helped!

1. Give up alcohol as much as possible.
2. Massively reduce your tea/coffee intake. My tip is oolong tea. It has an aquired taste (Ok it tastes like cardboard!) BUT! It does give you a bit of a kick in the morning.
It gives you a real energy boost. Pretty sweet. It doesn’t quite hit the spot like coffee can, but it does give you this boost! Try 2 cups of Oolong back to back before judging.
Oolong tea apparently has an impact on the vitality of the sperm. According to tests made on mice or something! Plus the Chinese drink it and look how many people there are in China!
3. Reduce your soya intake. Its in everything! Reduce it man, it turns you into a woman, man!
4. Eat more carrots, almonds and healthy fats. Don’t be afraid to cook with lots of extra Virgin olive oil – don’t use that other low calorie spray stuff.

Results? I had 2 sperm tests separated by several months during which I had changed my diet and the results were dramatically improved. I.e I became more virulent!

Speaking of sperm tests, this was not as much fun as I originally thought! It didn’t meet my preconceived/stereotypical notion of going into a little room by myself and being served a variety of porn magazines/DVD’s! Unfortunately that was not the case!

It did involve taking a little specimen jar home! OK not too bad as one can help oneself so to speak!
But the specimen has to be delivered to the lab, within at most 45 minutes after ‘being taken”.
I love the phrase ‘being taken’ which nicely avoids what it takes to get a sample!
Anyway - this was a semen test, NZ style!
I did it twice. Both times I had to deliver it to a reception desk at the lab in the city within 45 minutes of being taken! I shall leave it to your imagination
Both times I was faced with either going to the nice looking young receptionist or the older more experienced female receptionist! Both times I wandered around looking at the information on the walls until no one was within earshot and the older lady was available.
Both times as I handed over the warm specimen tube, cringing with embarrassment, she asked ‘What time was the sample taken?’ despite it being clearly marked in ink on the tube!
Awkward!